In a world all about others, I focus on me...

In the hustle and bustle of every day life, I think us mothers lose sight of ourselves. So I am dedicating this post to myself, all about me me me!

I shall start with some weird (or at least I think so) facts about myself:
1. I like my showers HOT. Like no cold tap on at all.
2. Anything that should be toasted, I like soft. (toast, waffles, english muffins, etc)
3. I have to sleep with my own blanket
4. I like cookie dough A LOT.
5. My favorite cereal is Fruit Loops
6. I enjoy thrillers the most
7. I listen to country mostly, but can appreciate all kinds of music
8. If I had it my way, I would be a CSI
9. I like earthquakes and turbulance
10. I am a published poet

I love being a mom, but sometimes I wonder what life would have been like without my kid. I don't think that makes me a bad mom, nor do I wish that was the case, I just have that wonder.  The past is the past, but it is hard to not think of the what-ifs sometimes. Is this a common thing? Or am I just being weird?

Miss Personality meets Santa...

So annually the fire department does a Santa's Ship toy drive. (Santa is escorted around various parts of town on various days, and sees all the little kids while collecting new toys for the unfortunate) I usually try to take Rilee, and this year the hype for Santa was fairly large! So my husband and I were excited to take her to see him this year. This is the child that was anxious to see Santa:

Mommy and Rilee

Daddy and Rilee

So excited the camera cant even keep up with her jumping!

 Starting off on a good note right? Well she did fine with mommy sitting with her...and she did ok with sitting by herself...

 And then we asked her what she thought of Santa to which my 2 year old responded, "I wanna go home" and that prompted me to snap this wonderful photo...

No mom, I don't want to see the jolly fat man again.

 Utter failure of a night? Heck no. We settled for the fact that she didn't scream while being with a big strange man surrounded by flashing emergency vehicle lights on a street corner shes never seen before in a sled that shoots out bubble like snow from a "friendly" snow man unexpectedly. We also took her here:

Wagner Winter Wonderland

Which allowed her to be more like the smiley Rilee we know:

So much better

And ended our successful "Get in the Holiday Spirit" Evening!

Another Paper Mama Photo Challenge: Blessings

Sleep after so much pain and sickness...

So I was going through all the cute pictures of Rilee for this challenge as she has been the hugest blessing in my life thus far, but I didnt find one that fit perfectly until I came across the album from her 5 days in the hospital. So this is my idea of a blessing... A moment of sleep though being so sick... She looks like a sleeping angel.Paper Mama's Contest

Wordless Wednesday

And my entry into : Black and White Contest

A Short piece of my self observation paper I wrote for Psychology Class

Going from Rilee’s Mom, to being her “Mommy”-

Moving on from being a something, to being her someone

            I can easily wake up every morning and claim that my daughter Rilee is more than enough of a reason to get me out of bed; while equally claiming with vigor, that she is also the reason I wish that I could stay in bed all day. With such a contradiction at hand, it sums up the feelings a parent has towards parenthood. The project was simple. I must pick something to conquer for the next three months that would somehow transform me, or complete a transformation that had already begun. I could not pick yoga, for my patience level is minimal, and pending knee surgery, some of the moves would have me in the Savasana pose, also known as the corpse pose, before I was even able to begin another session. Finding time to meditate would also pose a problem, being I cannot pee without my daughter running in to the bathroom with a penny screaming, “Yay! Mommy you did it”, referring to the fact that after 25 years of life I was successfully potty trained. So naturally if I was to try to relax, she would claim mommy was sleeping, and that I needed to wake up. Dancing for me is like the tango of awkward two left feet, meets shy wall flower, which if your math is bad equates to a HORRIBLE mix. Art? Nah, I wouldn’t be able to draw anything more than the occasional shape, and I am already a certifiable pathological picture taker, so picking up that for this process would be cheating.

            As a family, we already “commune” with nature enough. We spend weekends outdoors on the lake, or hiking, or riding bikes. Praying is something I try to do daily, but would feel bad for making an excuse to have to do it, and somehow the whole “Dear God please don’t let me kill her” in regards to the diaper cream she just opened and smeared everywhere, didn’t seem to qualify as productive prayer. So, in this being a self-observation paper, it was only right to allow myself time to observe more thoroughly. There wasn’t just one thing that I wanted to do that I felt would transform me significantly, nor was I going to do a multitude of things and try to piece them together. So as I sat in my car with the “Mommy I hear the color song again” playing in the background, I thought. In the shower, while juggling a slippery wet, wanting to splash instead of wash, 2 year old, I thought some more. While rushing from class to work, to my other work, to home, to cook dinner, and do homework, and bathe and tuck in and read and love upon a little girl, and a husband (he would require another paper), I thought some more. In all of my thinking I concluded that thinking just was consuming too much time, until the other day when I read a blurb somewhere that went, “My 3 year old called me mom today. When did I stop being his mommy?” and I couldn’t help but cry. (Why yes, I know what you’re thinking; a grown woman, sitting there crying because someone’s kid called his mother mom, but as a parent of an almost 3 year old I had to really ponder the notion that one day I too would be hearing that word and all the innocence of mommy would be lost.)

Win a Silhouette machine!

Click here for how to enter!
I am super excited for the chance to win this machine, and if you enter you have a chance to win it as well! Think of all the cool things you could do with this!


http://silhouettemachine.blogspot.com/

Made from scratch Cinnamon Buns!

Watch out Martha Stuart I am moving on up! I have started up sewing and baking! My newest feat? Made from scratch cinnamon buns, including made from scratch cream cheese icing! They are delicious.

Final Product!

Made for the party!

I think Rilee loved the frosting!

Yummy!